having mix feelings these few days.. hmmm. just returned from work. now is just 7.18am in the morning. can't slp. later still going for soccer at 8.45am.

hmmm. had our one month anniversary 2 days ago on the 17th oct. it was a great day. i woke up early and went to hougang mall to get her a bouqet of flowers. though its only 5 stalks of red roses, i could see her happy face when she saw the flowers. after that i quickly went to raffles city to get her chocolates at the chocolate box shop. sms-ed her to tell her i'm going to meet her at city hall at 1pm. but it was too late, i msged her while she was slping. and she woke up at ard 12.50pm. so in the end, i went to pasir ris to find her. and something shity happened. i saw vivian and her class at the pr mrt station. luckily she didn't see me. but i was still kinda affected when i saw her.

waited for some time until my dear finally reached. cannot stand stupid people looking at me. is it wrong for a guy to hold flowers? wth. i dun understand why they look at me in a weird way. no wonder the dictionary got a word call 'idiot'. lol.

went ard to shop and walk walk. then went to catch the movie, Goal. it was nice. i enjoyed it very much. and i like the guy's name, Santiago. haha. kinda nice. then went to have pasta mania after that. things were so great until the midnight.

....she told me things that made me sad, down. but i couldn't blame her. i can only just improve myself, to make a better lover. i was feeling damn down. didn't manage to slp well, keep waking up etc. then went to meet her today. there was this weird atmosphere when i first saw her today. but i tried to keep things normal like before so that we wont feel weird. went to have lunch and to tampines. but at the end of the day, things were back to normal. i was glad.

sometimes i really wonder..
am i really so bad? haiz. there are things she did, that made me sad. i didn't wish to tell her. cos i dun want her to be sad. but she can see it easily when i'm down or upset of things she did. cos i will just keep quiet and dun talk to her for a moment.

but there are also things that i did, that made her really sad. so i think i should just take everything at its course. i just simply hope things will go fine and she will stay happy forever. cos i dun wish to lose her. =)

iLu